190577
Joke of the Day
"John: ""I'm a man of few words."" Bill: ""I'm married too."""
Next Joke
"A Christian telling an atheist that God will punish him ... [x-post from r/atheism] ... is like a hippy telling me that he's going to punch me in the aura."
"*Showing me a picture of your baby* Me: Is that a dog toy in the background? What kind of dog do you have? What's your dog's name?"
"A Jewish boy asks his father ""Can I have thirty dollars?"" His father replies ""Twenty dollars? What do you need ten dollars for?"""
"""Excuse me sir, are you really just a building in disguise?"" *storefront sweats nervously* ""N-n-no! I am human my name is Bill. Bill...Ding"""
"Me: I hope you pee your pants, teach you not to hold it in! My daughter: You shouldn't wish for that..you're the one that does the laundry!"
"I had to memorize a random 18 digit password before she'd let me in. Guess who stole your Soap Opera Digest out of the mailbox, Mom?"
"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear Sir, We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ..."
"what""s the difference between tuna and chicken? a shower"
"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef stroganoff."