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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish boy asks his father ""Can I have thirty dollars?"" His father replies ""Twenty dollars? What do you need ten dollars for?"""

"*Snowstorm on it's way* America - we need to stock up on bread and milk! Canadians - better hit the beer store."

"I heard it's impossible to ban Tank tops in the US... Something about the right to bare arms..."

"Q:What did the tornado say to the car? A:('You wanna go for a spin?')"

"Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? From trying to blow out lightbulbs."

"Some people have trouble sleeping... ...but I can do it with my eyes closed..."

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, except for bears, bears will kill you."

"OH MY GOD I ALMOST SAT DOWN ON THE TOILET WITHOUT MY BLACKBERRY!"

"How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee? ""Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."""