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Joke of the Day

"I had to memorize a random 18 digit password before she'd let me in. Guess who stole your Soap Opera Digest out of the mailbox, Mom?"

"Use promo code 'NETFLIX' to get 50% off your grades."

"Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't. That's it. That's the joke."

"An interesting fact about the word ""poop."" While saying the word ""poop"" your mouth resembles your anus while pooping. Another great example of this relationship is with the word ""diarrhea."""

"They say love is worth more than money. But I'm pretty sure my landlord is gona want more than a hug."

"The scariest Halloween costume this year will be 'sexy' Kim Davis... Glasses, Crystal Gayle wig, and an ugly blue jumper with nothing underneath."

"What Do You Call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer? answer: ash"

"I was listening to 80s music today. You just can't beat Tina Turner. Unless you're Ike Turner."

"Unless you are a pregnancy test, take your negativity somewhere else."

"What did they call Dracula when he won the league? The champire!"