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Joke of the Day

"The best things in life are free. Like your neighbor's wifi, their morning paper & their liquor cabinet while they're away, for instance."

"Chemistry teacher: What is Nitrate? Girl: My place, 250...your place 400!"

"Ironically, the Boogeyman was a terrible dancer."

"Truth or dare? -Truth. Ok, go. -I get sexually aroused by ALF. Okaaaay... -Your turn. Truth or dare? Um...dare. -Put on this ALF costume."

"Christianity jokes Q: What did Jesus say while he was getting crucified? A: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! (feel free to share yours)"

"Naming my law firm/night club ""Mullet."" People will have to walk through the business in the front to get to the party in the back."

"uh oh sombody posted a sad facebok status. i beter like it to show i care but also coment a sad face emoji to show i dont literaly ""like"" it"

"Can't quit smoking? Wear mittens all the time."

"Sadly, at 8:11 PM Mark Jones was mispronounced dead. [at hospital] Doctor: I'm afraid this man has deed. Am I saying that right? He's deed."

"Why did they invent the shopping cart? To teach women to walk on their hind legs."