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Joke of the Day

"Can't quit smoking? Wear mittens all the time."

"Want to have a haircut like Jesus? Just ask for the ""What Would Jesus 'Do!"""

"I hate when I'm getting a back rub & he stops 3 mins in & says ""my thumbs hurt."" It's not like I ever say ""My jaw hurts."" I finish the job."

"""yer a magician, harry"" hagrid said to hary houdini when he graduted magic academy"

"President of Columbia has announced that the country is going into severe economic depression... ...since the deaths of Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston."

"I am... A joke !"

"What do you call a scary philosopher? Aristartle"

"i don't do crossfit, i cross ""fit"" off my list of goals. way easier."

"2 peanuts were walking down a dark alley one was assaulted"

"Did you read the news about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines everywhere!"