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Joke of the Day

"My boss told me: ""Dress for the job you want..."" so there will be a stormtrooper at tomorrow morning's meeting."

"Why don't you see any slow black people? They're all in jail."

"What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common? They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen."

"""You know, I'm doomed to get eternal damnation to the Hell"" said Edward Cullen. -- Because you are a vampire, creature of Night and Darkness? -- No, because I'm an atheist."

"I hate it when my dates try to start conversations How on earth do you reply to ""mppphhhhh mmmmmhhhh phhhhhmmmm"""

"So I took a bite of a Hoagie that wasn't mine... Oops wrong sub."

"guy walks into a strip club.. guy walks into a strip club and says, ""hey!, who do I gotta blow to get a lap dance around here?"""

"Anything is 'bite size' if your mouth is big enough."

"I bet Vegans that become zombies must really struggle with the whole brain-eating lifestyle..."

"What do you get when astronomers play tic-tac-toe? Exoplanets Thought that one up myself."