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Joke of the Day

"What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common? They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen."

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"What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? I just passed your friend in the woods."
"What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline."
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh Ten-Tickles. ... I can't stop"
"Let's all take a moment to honor National Punctuation Day because life would be: very, confusing! Without it?"
"I used to have a steering wheel in my pants But it was driving me nuts"
"What's the difference between Mormons and non Mormons? The temperature of their caffeine"
"What is the difference between a small vagina and a douchey midget? One is a runty cunt and the other is a cunty runt."
"I had sex with a pregnant woman last night Was also my first threesome"
"Uh, excuse me, Mr. Swagger, Either walk a little faster or buy a belt. Thanks, homie."