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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you mix gangsta rap and relational aesthetics? Albums released through California penal records."

"*wakes up w/phone in hand* Me:[texting] Sorry I fell asleep on ya last night *text chime* Couch: I'm like right here why are you texting me?"

"""See? I'm not nothing,"" I thought... ...as the sliding glass doors opened for me :("

"I gave my friend a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me."

"""there's no such thing as a stupid opinion"" said the world's first feminist"

"Whenever I'm in a difficult situation, I think, ""What would I do?"" so I can do the opposite thing"

"Dear girls that go tanning, it's called 'sunkissed', it's not called 'dorito raped'."

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff. Baa-dum-tssss."

"What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12."

"If two gangsta vegetarians are arguing... Is it still considered beef?"