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Joke of the Day

"My English teacher corrected my Grammer. One day during the lecture our English teacher told us things are not ""hard"", infact they are ""difficult"". She gave me the most difficult boner that day."

"At the water cooler, just ""accidentally"" splashed my pants to hide some pee. This Christmas, I'll give the office a chocolate fountain."

"I sent 117 texts and called you 82 times but you must be busy so I came over to tell you the restraining order expired and I still love you!"

"Real men don't cry...tears for real men are only unnecessary liquids in the body."

"Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar? 1. Because he was sheet faced. 1. Because he couldn't hold his boos. EDIT: Formatting."

"Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax time? A: A dependent Claus."

"A Brazilian got the first gold medal The police are already after him."

"TIFU by asking a chinese girl's number... I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She replied, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 6663629."""

"How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb? Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters."

"The only joke I know ....... What do you call a mushroom with a 12 inch penis? A fungi to be with"