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Joke of the Day

"I walked into a gas station and asked, ""Can I have a Kit-Kat chunky?"" The lady behind the counter came back with a Kit-Kat Chunky. I said, ""No, I wanted a normal Kit-Kat you fat bitch."""

"How do you get 4 old ladies to yell ""Shit!""? Get a 5th old lady to yell ""Bingo!"""

"Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? Pupil: Because it can't sit down !"

"*at movie theater* M: I'll take a large popcorn with extra butter. H: Sure. What movie are you seeing? M: I'm not."

"Being romantic as an awkward mathematician is hard... I called my girlfriend 1/cos(c) to try and compliment her but I don't think she caught my drift. Can't blame her though, that's a triggy one."

"The world would be a better place if we all stuck together. But it would be harder to go to the bathroom."

"What happens when you place a black baby next to your ear... You can hear a future mixtape."

"Do you know where the Belgium waffle design comes from? From the German tank tracks."

"[bank robbery] Robber 1: put money in the bag Robber 2: how come u get to be robber 1? Robber 4: how do u think I feel. There's only 3 of us"

"You know what's really odd? Numbers not divisible by 2"