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Joke of the Day

"You know what's really odd? Numbers not divisible by 2"

"I hate working with Jewish fishermen. They always ask me: ""What's your net worth?"""

"Three Mexicans walk in to a bar... You'd think Juan would've seen it."

"Ahhhhh A man was taking a crap and the water splashed his butt and he yelled ahhh toilet monster and ran out in the middle of the road butt naked and got run over."

"""why do women always take sooo long to put their makeup on?"" because makeup is war paint for Being In Public, clearly"

"I told my kids I've never done drugs or been with anyone other than their father and the idiots totally bought it."

"Did it hurt when you were circumcised? I don't remember the pain but I couldn't manage to walk for a year after."

"I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again."

"Telling someone w/ depression things like 'Cheer up','Get over it','It's a state of mind', is like telling a blind person 'Just look harder'"

"What do you call a bear's dick? a weenner the pooh"