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Joke of the Day

"My lasagna just took a picture of me and posted it on Instagram"

"Age 20: Gotta get ripped for Spring Break! Age 25: Exercise reduces stress! Age 35: My doctor says I'll die immediately if I don't do this"

"So everyone knows, it's frowned upon to yell ""Hot potato"" when someone hands you a baby and toss it back to them"

"Which government organization is involved with protecting Area 51? The C.I.ayy"

"I want to make a school shooting joke, but that might seem offensive. I think I should aim for a younger crowd."

"Bully: This town isn't big enough for the 2 of us! Me: Oh yeah? Bully: Yeah! Me: Come at me bro *opens town expansion plan* and look at this"

"Little league Played baseball with some orphaned kids today. :) I won. None of them seemed to know where home was."

"Why are women's feet smaller than men's? So they can stand closer to the sink."

"Sucks how every girl I'm interested in is either taken or has good taste in men."

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin' catholic"