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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you place a black baby next to your ear... You can hear a future mixtape."

"(Male-related)When I have a double stream, is there something obstructing the penis? or is it just being a dick?"

"Can't, busy teaching a toddler gang signs."

"How many passive-aggressive people does it take to change a lightbulb? Oh never mind, I'll just sit here in the dark..."

"ME: ""Hey, the 1980s called and they want their pants back"" STRANGER WHO IS SECRETLY A TIME COP: ""They called?! That's a level 3 violation!"""

"So the Asian guy from the Human Centipede has a Twitter account... He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him."

"My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: the one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor."

"How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them."

"Why should you avoid sexual encounters with The Fonz? Because he has Ayyyds."

"Did you know statistically you're more likely to be killed by a coconut falling from a tree than by a coconut stabbing you with a breadknife"