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Joke of the Day
"I was in Brisbane waiting for ages for a bus. Then what do you know, two float past at once."
Next Joke
"what does my dad and christmas crackers have in common? they show up once a year to make me cringe with their dad jokes, and then give me a shitty gift."
"The only thing I have to say about Bristol Palin ""You're welcome."""
"What do you call a lazy lizard? A procrastigator."
"If there are liberal arts colleges, why aren't there any conservative arts colleges? Well, there used to be conservative arts colleges, but they were all defunded."
"I was 13 the first time I tried probiotics. Some kids were passing a cup of yogurt around at a party. I figured why not? Now I'm in prison."
"How do you get a kid out from a microwave? Please answer before my wife gets home!"
"Cop: show us where the hamburgers are, hamburglar Hamburglar: you've got the wrong guy. I steal ham. You're thinking of hamburgerburglar"
"What is the most religious medicine? The Deacon gestant"
"In honor of Earth Day I'm going to forage for my own food. Does anyone know what a Dorito plant looks like?"