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Joke of the Day

"In honor of Earth Day I'm going to forage for my own food. Does anyone know what a Dorito plant looks like?"

"Only people who've walked into a sliding glass door can laugh when a bird crashes into a window. Everyone else who does it is a racist."

"The fact that belly buttons aren't blowholes is fucking stupid."

"the elevator business is great It has its ups and downs"

"Shot my first turkey today.. scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section..."

"I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added ""they fall right off"""

"Did you hear about the 80 pound midget with 40 pound balls? They say he was half nuts."

"If it ain't broke, my children haven't touched it yet."

"Why do gypsies suck at basketball? They always travel and their stealing attempts end up failing."

"Currently accomplishing an astonishing amount of nothing, at a blistering rate."