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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lazy lizard? A procrastigator."

"I got fired from my job at the restaurant for putting a load in the dishwasher... she was cute."

"Whats black and screams? Stevie wonder answering the iron!"

"Colleague: Quick, the boss is on her way! Me: That's weird I swear that I didn't hear her broomstick!"

"In first grade when I'd tell my parents what I learned in class and they'd act amazed, I'd think ""Shouldn't you know this shit already?"""

"For a ski team, these guys in the 7-11 sure have a lot of guns!"

"My friend said he didn't mind homosexuality, just didn't like it in his bedroom. I asked, ""have you tried the kitchen?"""

"I can't understand Undertale. It doesn't make sans."

"What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A chocolate BAA"

"What did one cracker say to the other? ""Let's conquer the Americas, Africa, Australia, and Asia."""