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Joke of the Day

"What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Damn!"

"Dracula Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math? Because he likes to Count."

"OK, guy with the two kayaks and two bikes strapped to his Subaru Outback: settle down. Save some outdoors for the rest of us."

"Seriously, it's almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower."

"I like my women like I like my trail mix... With nuts."

"A neutron went into a bar and asked the bartender, ""How much for a beer?"" The bartender replied, ""For you, no charge."""

"A husband and wife were found smothered in their bed... Detectives called it the pillow case..."

"Just learned the Finnish have a word ""Kalsarikannit"" which means getting drunk alone at home in underwear. Signing immigration forms now."

"You know what I have found always kills the mood? The noise from a rape alarm"

"My friend came out of closet to me recently ""I am gay"", he said to me. I didn't believe my friend. I thought he was kidding. I said... ""How can you say that with such a straight face?"""