127461

Joke of the Day

"You know what I have found always kills the mood? The noise from a rape alarm"

"Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers licence ? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!"

"Good news: I finally had sex with my wife last night! Bad news: I spent the entire 60secs wondering how I was going to tweet it to you guy"

"The world has gotten so politically correct that I don't know what is appropriate to throw at a crying baby in a restaurant anymore."

"I wonder how Beaker from the Muppets came to work at Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's laboratory. Is he just there as a college intern, or is he a graduated beaker?"

"I would rather read aloud the iTunes terms and conditions in Spanish than be at work today."

"I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters. It's shift work."

"What is an autograph? A chart which shows car sales."

"FINISH THE SENTENCE!!! I woke up in a ditch and...."

"Be careful what batteries you use. My GF uses Energizer batteries and her kid keeps going and going."