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Joke of the Day

"My friend came out of closet to me recently ""I am gay"", he said to me. I didn't believe my friend. I thought he was kidding. I said... ""How can you say that with such a straight face?"""

"I was eating out this girl the other day and there was Horse semen in there and I was like ""Damn,Grandma that is how you died"""

"A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink"

"France and Italy are in a battle against each other. Who wins? Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides."

"Before I had my son, I used to hate kids. Now I just hate yours."

"Which November holiday is a weed smoker's favorite? Danksgiving."

"""SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP"" I yell at the neighbor I can hear vacuuming at 1pm in the afternoon."

"What do people from Cape Cod say to their butts? Hyannis"

"My girlfriend got an abortion She said she didn't want another sister to compete with."

"Never get on one knee for a girl who won't get on two for you."