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Joke of the Day

"""It's obviously not real, you dumb impressionable twats"" ...every time people get up in arms over fake articles"

"My father was a nun Whenever the judge asked him for his occupation he would always answer ""nun""."

"What's the British equivalent to hit it and quit it. Bang her and dash."

"My GF was sick and said Sperm has a lot of Vitamin C in it... I told her I guess that means I can be her C-man"

"She was a very heavy smoker with a cough that curdled your blood. Phlegm fatale, they called her."

"I tried ""Netflix and chill?"" on my wife. We're now on season 3 of Gilmore Girls."

"What do you get when you cross an Aboriginal with a Caucasian? A half decent person."

"what is hhe hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair"

"I hate it when my kid says, ""But mom, it was an accident!"" Yeah? Well so were you, but I still have to take responsibility for you..."

"I adopted a cat but it turned out that my daughter is allergic to cats So, I am giving her away for adoption. She's 7 and she's in second grade"