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Joke of the Day
"I tried ""Netflix and chill?"" on my wife. We're now on season 3 of Gilmore Girls."
Next Joke
"My friends think im a magician when I make chocolate disappear... But little do they know, i'v got a few Twix up my sleeve..."
"How to lose an argument with a woman: 1) Argue."
"I just crashed a massive party... ...bus. Luckily there were no major injuries"
"""She's cute I swear, let me find a better picture."" Me telling my friends about my new girlfriend."
"Did you hear about the kidnapping in Dallas? They woke him up."
"If you want someone to like you never text first. If they text you then don't text back. Never, ever talk. It's the only way to make it work"
"Neighbour:How's the wife? Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant? Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next"
"A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says... ""What's with the steering wheel on the front of your pants?"" The pirate says, ""Argh!! I don't know but it's driving me testicles!!!"""
"I raped someone so hard in a LoL match last night but forgot to record it It's ok. Found it on Pornhub."