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Joke of the Day

"""Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."" ""Some, I assume, are good people"""

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"A nihilist was robbed at gunpoint. Nothing of value was stolen."
"I'm such a great chick magnet Too bad I'm the kind that repels rather than attracts"
"God: ""At least I didn't get FAT."" Buddha: ""At least I didn't get CRUCIFIED."""
"Sometimes I like to stop and fart at the jewelry counter in Macy's to remind them that there's common folk like us that shop there too."
"I just got a socially progressive phone... It has an LGBTQWERTY keyboard"
"Q: How do you make an idiot think he's a duck? A: Tell him he's a duck."
"Ever have sex while camping? It's fucking intents"
"People who say losing weight is ""just math"" clearly have no idea how far out of my way I go to avoid math."
"Doctor: ""You have a hip injury."" Me: ""I am very trendy."""