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Joke of the Day

"A nihilist was robbed at gunpoint. Nothing of value was stolen."

"After i say ""whatever"", all the sh*t you say after that is irrelevant"

"90% of your body is water. 6% is delusion. 4% is lies."

"I don't know much about fashion. I assume a leotard is an idiot born between July 23 & August 22."

"What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Some insensitive asshole was tapping it to certain death on his iPhone."

"*holds up bread* this is my body *holds up wine* this is my blood *holds up fire* and this is my mixtape"

"My girlfriend is like Christmas.. Only comes once a year."

"What's a bartender's favorite book? Tequilla mocking bird."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breasts? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean."