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Joke of the Day

"Just another day in math class Teacher - what is 0.1 as a fraction Student - 1/10th Teacher - good, now what does 10% mean? Student - low battery plug in your phone"

"My bank called me today to alert me my card was used for a gym membership and they doubted it was legit because they see where I go to eat."

"You can reach 80 years Doctor: Your health seems to be in such a condition that I believe you can reach 80 years. *But doctor, I am already 80!* You see - I told you to quit smoking."

"My buddy is awesome at grilling steaks. They are all very well done"

"What did the man say to his big breasted ex-wife? Thanks for the mammaries."

"age 9- *jumps off fences, feels fine* age 19- *jumps off garage on a dare, feels fine* age 39- *takes Aleve cuz I ""slept funny"""

"I like my women like I like my golf score In the low 80s with a slight handicap"

"What is the most sensitive part of a mans anatomy while he's masturbating? His ears. Oooo! I get to say it! ""Front page?! Wow! Thanks y'all!"" Oh yea, and ""RIP my inbox"" Good times!"

"If life was reddit... I'd still be unpopular"

"If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I'm having sex ... Probably with the other sock."