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Joke of the Day

"My buddy is awesome at grilling steaks. They are all very well done"

"too Hairy I went to town to see MS. Lucy, I'll give her two cents to see her pussy. The hair was so black I couldn't see her crack, so I asked for my two cents back"

"Solving the Mystery by Ivor Clew"

"I'd watch Pimp My Ride: One Year Later, a show about people coming to terms with maintaining a fish tank and waffle-maker in a Ford Fiesta."

"6yo: Wow you look much better already daddy! Will you be able to have the stitches out soon? Taxidermist: He will not"

"What batteries do turtles use? Durashells"

"What my father said to my prospective college roommate the first time they met... Do you know how to tell if you roommate is gay?? His cock tastes like shit!!"

"I heard the Vatican was making a movie. The name? Pope Fiction"

"Having a relationship is like taking your SAT. There's a lot of cheating, you never finish at the same time, and, in the end, you end up trying again in a few months."

"Duct tape can't fix stupidity, but it can muffle it."