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Joke of the Day
"What did the man say to his big breasted ex-wife? Thanks for the mammaries."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt? A pussy makes your cock feel nice and makes you cum, a cunt is who owns the pussy."
"Note to self: 1) Your memory sucks. 2) Write note to self."
"Seven Bar Jokes Involving Grammar and Punctuation http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/seven-bar-jokes-involving-grammar-and-punctuation"
"It took me 4 attempts to type ""my dignity"". Autocorrect kept changing it to ""HAHAHAHAHAHA"""
"If I had a time machine and could travel to any time imaginable, I know in my heart I'd probably just set that thing to lunchtime."
"A statistician has half his body encased in ice and the other half engulfed in flames. So on average, they felt fine."
"So i was talking to my friend who's a dyslexic philosopher And he says to me ""You know what, recently i've been wondering if there really is a dog"""
"I'm really starting to hate these little Russian Dolls... They're so full of themselves."
"There are only two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."