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Joke of the Day

"Win every disagreement by saying "" I know. I'm from the future."" Because they can argue with you, but not science."

"Why do penguins never go to England? Because they're afraid of Wales!"

"I forgot Rhianna's ex-boyfriend's name...then it hit me."

"When you're enjoying your Chow mein.. ..but you miss your dog."

"I have often wanted to drown my sorrows. But, I can't get my wife to go swimming."

"Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Because 7 has friends in the politburo"

"What's the best part of twenty eight year old chicks? There's twenty of them."

"Cops are looking for a fat bank robber. He's still at large."

"*getting caught filling up neighbor's trash can* Omg Karen, I just looove your trash can! Where did you get it?"

"[Jumps into taxi] ""FOLLOW..."" [taxi driver turns around excitedly] ""...ME ON TWITTER"" [Jumps out & moonwalks into Olive garden]"