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Joke of the Day

"Why do penguins never go to England? Because they're afraid of Wales!"

"haha just plucked a shoulder hair so long it could only have been written by George R.R. Martin, who is widely known for abjuring brevity in"

"Hitler decides to hire a weather forecaster [Hitler] what's the weather looking like today? [Forecaster] Hail, Hitler!"

"Drinking Coors is like sex in a canoe It's fucking close to water"

"How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!"

"Wife: You should cut the grass. Me: Yes, dear. W: And, you really need to trim that bush. M: *mumbles* Yeah, you too. W: What? M: Yes, dear."

"A man walks up to a taxi -How much would it cost to drive me to the center? -5 bucks -What if my wife comes as well? -Still 5 bucks. -Do you see now honey. You ARE worthless."

"what do Hitler and Terry Fox have in common? they both couldn't finish a race."

"While a gun does make for a cool weapon on The Walking Dead, the most effective defense against the zombies is probably lightly jogging?"

"Necrophiliacs love going out on expiration dates."