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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Mexico ever do well in the Olympics? Because every mexican that can run, jump, or swim is already in America."

"Even after 20 years, Jared Fogle is still getting into smaller and smaller jeans."

"I like my elections like I like my contract bridge. No Trump"

"If babies knew how shitty life gets they wouldn't be giggling so much. Ignorant little bastards."

"My 2yr old pointed at my crotch and said, ""Big pee pee!"" I'm taking him with me everywhere I go from now on."

"Water Knock Knock Who's there? Water Water Who? Water Those!!!!! (What are those joke)"

"Boss - can you pass a piss test? Me - Sure...distance or accuracy?"

"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."

"An original joke about Mathew and Not-Mathew. Me:Mathew and Not-Mathew were on a boat. Mathew fell off the boat. Who was left? You:Not-Mathew. Me:Yeah Mathew was the one who fell out. Idiot."

"Why Do Tigers Have Stripes? Because They Don't Want To Be Spotted"