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Joke of the Day

"I used to be addicted to soap But I'm clean now."

"The women protest movement this weekend was historical. I've never seen so many women have PMS on the same day."

"The best thing about being productive is going to bed knowing you did something. Or I think that's how productive people feel. I don't know."

"How could Donald Trump support Mitt Romney? Didn't he know Romney was made in Mexico?"

"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin, you've already told her twice!"

"What if you found out that wheat bread is just a bunch of ants squished together that would be pretty spooky"

"""If ya wanna go and take a ride with me / wear your seatbelt"" - Nervous Nelly"

"I said to my wife Barb, You make an excellent point.'"

"Doc: I'm afraid you got 6 months to live Me: Why are YOU afraid? Doc: I'm not Me: You said you were Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW?"

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art not as nice as this time last year."