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Joke of the Day

"A cop was outside my house talking to some people and my first thought was ""yesss"" because I'm nosey."

"My Girlfriend used to go down on me all the time... ...so I fixed the puncture"

"How many Ferguson police does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just shoot the room for being black."

"Thought of this joke in a dream. What did one tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate? ""Bro, do you even shift?"""

"Girl are you Monday because I am not looking forward to seeing you again"

"What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run - she is still holding the grenade!"

"What did the Mexican say when his roof fell on him? Get off me Holmes!"

"Just remember Mom, you can't spell ""disappointment"" without ""appointment"" which reminds me I have to be at Hooters at 9 for my interview."

"don't feel too bad for people with chronic amnesia. they can watch Breaking Bad for the first time over and over."

"The word ""Fat"" just looks like someone took a bite out of the word ""Eat""."