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Joke of the Day

"Thought of this joke in a dream. What did one tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate? ""Bro, do you even shift?"""

"Why did the tractor trailer mechanic always have half an erection? Because he was constantly nursing a semi."

"I once dated a girl so my pet rock wouldn't be embarrassed after he threw himself at her window."

"Taking my dog out in below zero weather brings one thought to mind. I should have gotten a cat."

"If you're going to bother Google with a search, it is polite to type ""excuse me"" first."

"A man driving a car hits a woman. Who's fault is it? TRICK QUESTION! Cars can't fit in the kitchen!"

"My girlfriend went blind I hear when people lose one sense, it improves their others. Maybe she will improve in her sense of humour."

"My therapist thinks meeting women on twitter for sex is a bad idea. His wife disagrees."

"Steve Jobs's death was a conspiracy. He was murdered by his brother, Inside Jobs."

"knock knock who's there? To To who? AH AH AH, to whom"