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Joke of the Day

"Just remember Mom, you can't spell ""disappointment"" without ""appointment"" which reminds me I have to be at Hooters at 9 for my interview."

"A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks him, ""Where did you get that thing?"" Parrot says, ""Africa."""

"Me*suspicious the neighbor is a cannibal*:""Do U find this is a tough neighborhood? Neighbor:""Na, u just use a slow cooker. Me:""What? n:""What"

"""Eat your dinner so that lamb didn't die for nothing"" - will ensure you get your daughter's helping, too."

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? a GUMMY BEAR."

"I once met a girl with twelve boobs. Sounds fake, dozen tit?"

"When someone looks over my shoulder while I'm on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, ""HOW TO KILL THE PERSON BEHIND ME."""

"What did the male Dragonborn say to the female dragon? GO - VAH - KYUUM!!!"

"What kind of porn do blind people watch? (NSFW) Ebony"

"Patience is what parents have when there are witnesses around."