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Joke of the Day

"My Girlfriend used to go down on me all the time... ...so I fixed the puncture"

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"What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a dirty bus stop? One is a busty crustacean, the other is a crusty bus station."
"Monica Blue Knock knock. Whos there? Monica Blue. Monica Blue who? Bill Clinton."
"I went into a hotel.. I went into a hotel when a luggage boy came and said ""I'm the 'beg'gar"""
"How did the geologist develop a career as an expert in sinkholes? He fell into it."
"you deserve more than a guy who wears t-shirts with ""witty"" sayings that he bought from jcpenney."
"What's your ring tone? Pinkish with a bit of brown."
"I lost my mood ring last night... I don't know how I feel about this."
"Text response from a confused carcass: I decay."
"One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, ""Please send me a sister."" Santa Clause wrote him back, ""Ok, send me your mother."""