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Joke of the Day

"How does an octopus go to war? Well-Armed"

"It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles, that you realise... ...there is always a way to solve problems, without using violence."

"Caller ID should be more specific. It should say things like, ""Needs to borrow money"" or ""Will whine about petty stuff""."

"Today, I was thinking about the expression 'revenge is a dish best served cold'. Then I considered 'revenge is sweet'. I've come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream."

"What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynocologist? One looks up your family tree, the other looks up your family bush."

"So I made up a new word: Ask-hole; someone who constantly asks for your advise then does the opposite of what you told them."

"This is a frightening statistic 25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness! That's scary! It means 75% are running around untreated!"

"""I like Trump because he isn't a politician."" Right, because whenever my toilet breaks I call my electrician."

"Why do they call it a non-sequitur? Riot gear."

"There are 70,000 Jehovah's Witnesses in Melbourne for a conference. So I'll be answering the door naked this weekend."