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Joke of the Day

"So I made up a new word: Ask-hole; someone who constantly asks for your advise then does the opposite of what you told them."

"You know why you can't play Uno with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards!"

"Is a Rhino Liner something you wear in your underpants when you have the Rhinovirus?"

"Told my wife that joining the Mile High Club is on my bucket list. She said she didn't give a flying fuck."

"How does your stomach know to send the burps to the mouth and the farts to your bum?"

"What's thick, black, and over a foot long? My roommate's asian girlfriend's hair clogging the fucking shower drain."

"Why did the teacher cross her eyes? Because she couldn't control her pupils."

"What do giraffes and humans share the same number of? Testicles."

"*shipwrecked diary* Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab Day 2: crab seems untrustworthy Day 3: CRA B LEAR N ING TO WRI TE"

"Because you know I'm all about that data, bout that data. No trouble. I'm all about that data, bout that data. No trouble."