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Joke of the Day

"""I like Trump because he isn't a politician."" Right, because whenever my toilet breaks I call my electrician."

"Yo mama is so fat... that when she goes to the movie theatre she sits next to everybody."

"If U are nervous about public speaking, no need to picture the audience naked, just realize they will be on their phone ignoring you anyway."

"My favorite mythical creature is the Honest Politician"

"Had a dream last night.. about eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, I noticed my pillow was missing."

"Boy, is my face red! Fingering a suspect means something totally different at the police station, you guys."

"I just read that a veteran policeman has been suspended from his job... after being caught masturbating and smoking weed in his office. No name was given but he was a high wanking officer."

"I know how to pronounce worcestershire until I see it written."

"I bought a Christmas tree today. The guy asked me if I was going to put it up myself.I said, ""No, I'll probably put it in the living room."""

"Why did the chicken run around screaming? Because he had to use the bathroom."