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Joke of the Day
"What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen? Just don't monkey with him."
Next Joke
"Anyone hungry? I read there's some leftover cat."
"Blonde with a twist Q: What do you get when you combine a blonde woman with a physicist? A: Marie Curie"
"Between Trump and Clinton, who is more likely to start a nuclear war if elected president? America, with the missiles aimed at ourselves."
"""You'll sleep when I'm dead"" -- my phone"
"When I hear ""Tropical Depression"" I think of Toucan Sam sitting in a rain-forest crying. :("
"I went through and unfollowed everyone who is better looking than me. It took a lot longer than I thought it would."
"Don't ever try taking off a penguin's little tuxedo. All that's under there is a dead penguin."
"Offered the kids $5 to clean so they could learn about money and then didn't pay them so they could learn about randomly trusting people."
"[prehistoric times] MUM: When you get married, your husband will be the hunter DAUGHTER: So I gather"