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Joke of the Day
"""You'll sleep when I'm dead"" -- my phone"
Next Joke
"So how do you stop eating the endless breadsticks at Olive Garden does the restaurant close or are you supposed to bring a spotter with you?"
"An angry wife storms up to her husband. Wife: Our son just called me a bitch. Husband: That son of a bitch!"
"There was a shooting at the Apple store last night. There were no iWitnesses."
"What's the most annoying part about waking up to find a penis drawing on your face? Figuring out how to make it stop."
"Why do polo bears like bald men ? Because they have a great white bear place !"
"How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid? He died of asphinxiation!"
"My ex got drunk and left me at a bar so I called the police and reported a drunk driver.. #topahole"
"So I studied abroad in college... She never called me back though."
"A jewish guy asks his father for $20 His father replied, ""ten dollars? what in the world do you need five dollars for, I'd be happy to give you a dollar, here's a quarter."