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Joke of the Day

"Blonde with a twist Q: What do you get when you combine a blonde woman with a physicist? A: Marie Curie"

"How do you get a Jewish girl's number? Check her arm."

"Based on the musicians who thanked him at the Grammys, I gotta say: I'm not crazy for God's taste in music."

"What do you call it when someone steals your footrest? Grand Theft Ottoman"

"Picking up a drug addict is easy... They go for any line."

"I took my new dog to a Veterinarian. He went in Samoyed but came out Husky."

"I went fishing but didn't catch any fish It was a failure."

"Why did Timmy fall off the swings? Didn't have any hands.. (the real punch line) Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Timmy.."

"I asked my wife why she never tells me when she has an orgasm... She said ""I don't like ringing you whilst you're at work."""

"If your Uncle Jack was stuck on a roof Would you help your Uncle Jack off?"