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Joke of the Day

"Between Trump and Clinton, who is more likely to start a nuclear war if elected president? America, with the missiles aimed at ourselves."

"My girlfriend is a midget and I'm nuts over her"

"I used to think Ronda Rousey was so hot But tonight I saw a total knockout"

"How does trump like his eggs? Whites only"

"Women are like bathrooms stalls.... ....they're all dirty, except the handicap ones -Jim Jeffries"

"""Any two-watt bulbs?"" ""For what?"" ""That'll do. I'll take two."" ""Two what?"" ""I thought you didn't have any."" ""Any what?"" ""Yes, please."""

"I used to not get on with my mother-in-law but over the last few months I've developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her mouth shut!"

"What sex act did the mobster offer his boss? A goodfellatio"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest? A suicide vest will blow you."

"If one is an expert at tying knots, one does knot simply."