206963

Joke of the Day

"When I hear ""Tropical Depression"" I think of Toucan Sam sitting in a rain-forest crying. :("

"I'm really good at fighting.... I won my last fight by 100 metres"

"oooh pretty wing tattoos on your back, do they symbolize how you have no idea how big wings need to be to carry your weight"

"When friends or family ask me if I'm going to have another baby, I just gesture at the chaos of my life and yell, ""ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"""

"What does rock music and my grandpa have in common? The Strokes"

"A tray of muffins is in the oven. One muffin says ""Woo; it's hot in here."" An adjacent muffin exclaims, ""Whoa! A talking muffin!"""

"This joke is funny only today. Knock, knock. Who's there? Open. Open who? Open SSL."

"On this new /j thing im really back and forth on it"

"Listen, I'll let you borrow any Disney movie I've got except for one. I'm never gonna give you Zootopia. I'm a fucking furry. *Gotcha!*"

"Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we're hopeful."