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Joke of the Day

"Don't ever try taking off a penguin's little tuxedo. All that's under there is a dead penguin."

"Mommy! I found a $10 bill today, but I threw it away, cus it was fake. ""Oh, how did you know it was fake?"" ""It had two zeroes instead of one."""

"Why don't anteaters ever get sick? Because they are full of antibodies!"

"What's so great about nihilism? Nothing."

"What did the buffalo say to his son before he went to college? Bison."

"[NSFW] I'm trying this new thing where I don't beat off It's hard"

"What did the physicist say when he tried to meditate? Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm..."

"I have someone I want you meet - how is she? - she full - ehh... - of love - great! - to food - ..."

"I feel bad for all of the couples who got married in Vegas last week But at least their love will burn with a firey passion..."

"So my friend and I were playing chess. I said ""why don't we make this interesting"" so we stopped playing. Credit - I can't remember which comedian I stole this off but i am sure reddit will know"