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Joke of the Day

"There are alot of Hillary signs in my neighborhood... When did she change her last name to 'For Prison'?"

"What sound does it make when you light a stick of dynamite in them middle of a sheep herd? ssssssssssss boom! baaaaaaaah!"

"People are like trees: you can figure out their age by cutting into them & counting the rings. Right? I didn't do this for nothing, right?"

"Q: Why do men become smarter during sex? A: Because they are plugged into a genius."

"If a tree falls down in the woods... But nobody is around to hear it. Does a hipster still buy the album?"

"Saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children"" Standing underneath was a rather suspicious looking man holding a watch."

"Why was the Nun admitted to rehab.... Because she had a habit! I'll just show myself out"

"Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me: I didn't do... Cop:*cuffing me* Dispatch, we have a creepy clown in custody Me: These are my regular clothes"

"Why was the sick eagle in prison? Because she was illegal."

"Coworker: I need someone in the backfill position Brain: Do. Not. Say. Anything. Me: um hopefully you fill the gap soon Brain: oh dear"