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Joke of the Day

"Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me: I didn't do... Cop:*cuffing me* Dispatch, we have a creepy clown in custody Me: These are my regular clothes"

"What do you hear when Bill Cosby walks into the room? (Zzzzip)"

"Shoutout to Batman for being a true American and proving the only superpower you need is money."

"What did the mouse say to the webcam? Cheese."

"I like my women the way I like my wine... 9 years old and locked in my cellar."

"I'm afraid of Spotify ruining music the way Facebook ruined friends."

"I'm kind of a workplace bad boy. Once I called a dude 'fuckface' in a job interview. Then I didn't even give him the job."

"Trumps penis is so big... That on a (qwerty) keyboard it stretches all the way from A to Z"

"It's too bad Batman's real name wasn't Bruce Bates, then Alfred would be saying Master Bates all the time."

"In what realm does Thor use his hammer the most? Milfheim"