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Joke of the Day

"Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me: I didn't do... Cop:*cuffing me* Dispatch, we have a creepy clown in custody Me: These are my regular clothes"

"Three Signs You're Getting Older I was told that there were three signs that you are getting older. The first is senility And I forget the other two."

"So I was in bed with this woman and she said, ""Not in the ass."" I said, ""Hey, it's my thumb, it's my ass. If you don't like it, go in the other room."" Garry Shandling"

"Pineapple Jokes When is an apple not an apple?"

"Why do ghosts carry tissues? Because they have BOOOOgers."

"What is a jew's favourite bread? Shabbat-a"

"Why does beyonce sing about the ""box to the left"" Because women have no rights"

"The secret to my success lies with you having a poor grasp on it's definition."

"I often break into song The keys are so well hidden"

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump get into a car accident. Who survives? America"