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Joke of the Day

"Eighty seven percent of single people are single because they don't want to share their pizza with anyone."

"Guys, when she complains about something you didn't do, tell her about the things you did do. That will make everything ok! You're welcome!"

"You're the reason why women earn 75 cents to the dollar."

"free toilet paper samples at sams club today. everyones wiping their slopped up holes in the middle of the aisle. its disgusting"

"Where do twin lesbians meet up? A Clone Dyke Bar."

"Did you hear about the group of people who stole a dozen boxes of Viagra? Police are looking for hardened criminals."

"Nothing good has ever gone into a microwave at 3:00am."

"Why were the racist oranges upset when they checked out the small phonebook of their new city? Because it was mini apple list."

"How much did the pirate charge for corn? He sold them for a buccaneer."

"What time does Sean Connery leave to go to Wimbledon? Tennish."