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Joke of the Day

"A Hardcore atheist, A dedicated vegan, and an avid cross-fiter walk into a bar. how can you tell which one is which? They tell you."

"Every kid dreads accidentally calling their teacher ""mom"" but from personal experience, doing it in a rap battle is worse"

"To my English teachers who encouraged me to create magical works of literature as a boy. Here is my 3,007th Tweet. You can be proud."

"What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails? A retail store."

"Why is it prestigious to wear a condom? It's a members-only jacket."

"Didja hear that Hershey's is bringing out a new LGBT candy-bar? They're callin it a Lady Bruce."

"Apparently the yellow power ranger died after being hit by a car. ""It's MORPHINE time"" joked one ER nurse, who was later fired."

"When you see someone driving with their shirt off it makes you feel so stupid for driving with your shirt on."

"The Class of 2019"

"How does a mathematician solve constipation? Pro biotics and a healthy amount of fiber."