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Joke of the Day

"Why is it prestigious to wear a condom? It's a members-only jacket."

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years... Then we met."

"What do you call a flat-breasted french woman? Petits"

"What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave? Aight I'll calcu-lata"

"My friend told me that she wanted to give me a deep throat blow job today. ""Really!?"" I asked. ""No,"" she replied, ""April Fogarbnsrgabsjg...."" That'll teach her to try to be funny..."

"Never trust a stairwell. Every time you turn around, it's a new story!"

"Fuck the man And make him a sandwich."

"I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas. Now I'm fucking stuck taking care of a puppy."

"Why was Albert Einstein's dad afraid to teach him vowels? Because everytime he tried, he kept owing his son money!"

"How do you find a black person? Guilty."