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Joke of the Day

"I didn't want to believe my flatmate was stealing from his job as highway maintenance ...but when I got home all the signs were there."

"What's the difference between a Philosophy major and a cashier at KFC? A job application."

"Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt? Yes the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!"

"What is the leading cause of dry skin? Bath towels..."

"I just heard Hillary Clinton got a shoe endorsement It's from Flip Flop"

"[Watching 101 Dalmatians with a cute girl] Hold up, hold up. Pause it, please. Thanks. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,"

"What's the worst part about being a black jew You have to stand in the back of the oven"

"Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because number 7 is Luis Suarez, and he'll eat 9, 10, 11 and the rest of your team. (Disclaimer: The joke above is only applicable when he plays for Liverpool)"

"What band performed at the Jefferson memorial? Nickelback"

"What do you call an Irish lesbian? Good with the Gaelic."