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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a Philosophy major and a cashier at KFC? A job application."
Next Joke
"What's a panda's favorite kitchen dish? A pan....duh"
"Right now a group of women at a baby shower are simultaneously saying, ""Awwww..."" while some knocked up chick holds up a tiny pair of socks."
"[purposefully keeps messing up my hot dog eating scene] director: cut! [sighs] bring in another hot dog, take 11"
"""Mickey Mouse, you want to divorce Minnie cause she was... extremely silly?"" ""No, I said she was fucking Goofy"""
"What do firemen and Eastern European prostitutes have in common? They both go down on poles."
"I cried last night harder than I've ever cried before. I really should invest in a nose hair trimmer instead of plucking them."
"Two jihadists walks into a gay bar.... Needless to say, they had a huge blast"
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The ""p"" is silent."
"What's the difference between a $1000 used car and a Rolls-Royce? One's a grand car and the other's a grand car"